I wasn’t aware of this, but I’m apparently in the middle of an identity crisis and so is the rest of white America. Yeah, I’m white. Sometimes laughably so. I grew up in the suburbs. I drink too much expensive coffee. I spend too much time in front of a computer. My dogs are my children. I’m self-indulgent enough to contemplate an identity crisis, real or not.

To 2012 conservatives, white people are the last untapped voting bloc. Yep, I just said that. The most sought after demographic of the last 236 years is now fresh and new. First though, Republicans need to figure out, Who The Hell Are White People? The answer, it appears, is exactly like the answer to same question about any minority voting bloc. It’s that we are two dimensional. We either wear hardhats and swill cheap beer while watching NASCAR or we rest our sparkling clean tushies on solid gold toilets.

In fact, some guy named Charles Murray wrote a book about it. It’s called Coming Apart. It’s one of many recent essays on the supposed demise of white America, including, and most famously, Pat Buchanan’s Suicide of a Superpower.